I had the most beautiful experience last night that I feel like I really must share with you. The other night, I broke into tears because a friend of mine has been struggling. I was almost angry that my life is so beautiful and hers is so messed up. I went to our studio so that it could just be me and God. I told God what was on my mid and how it really hurt me. I told him that my friend had been having such a difficult time with life that she had actually made herself ill.
For about a half an hour I cried and cried pouring out my hear to him. (that is not something I do very often, but my mom had told me to go out there and talk to him) I am not going to hide from you that I looked horrible. I had snot all over myself when I had finished. I tell you that not to gross you out, but to explain how distraught and broken I was. After my tear for half an hour, I thought that I should listen to God and see if I could hear him reply.
Now, exactly a month before this, a girl had spoken at my church about how daily we should spend time listening to God. We may not hear God or anything at all, but getting into a habit of listening to God for a hour every day was important. She told us to get a stick in order to keep out mind on God and not get distracted with life in the silence. My stick that I had thought of that day was, "God is compassionate." I'm not really sure why that came to me, but it did. When I sat down and tried to just listen to God, when I though of something off topic, I would go back to that and think, "God is compassionate." Then at church, I had felt like that wasn't really a good stick. I felt like I needed to come up with something better, but that one kept coming back to me.
Last night, as I lay on my knees, that stick came to me. "God is compassionate." I burst into tears again because I realized that God had really heard me prayer. He was compassionate and had listened to a small female with snot pouring all over herself at nine o'clock at night in a cold studio begging him to save her best friend's life.
Proverbs 3:5-6; Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make you paths straight.
That really touched me and I felt complete peace after that. I knew God would fight this fight for me.
Please pray for me. I am going to see this friend of mine today and I really want God to speak through me so I can be an encouragement to her. I don't want to speak out of my own free will because I am positive I will say something wrong. Only God can tell me what the right thing to say is.
~Daughter of the Light
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